Keith was a loner. He worked in a dead end job, that required no thought what so ever. It was so stupendously boring, that suicide had been a thought on his mind for a long time now. The only thing that was stopping him from killing himself was his pride. If he killed himself then everyone would know that it was his job that finished him off. This was an idea that Keith did not like. His job required the arrogance and the rudeness for it to work. And so he would not give into the intoxicating harassment of the general public that was his customer. Yes, Keith worked in a Post office.
The usual post office assistant would never have much to do. Especially Keith. All he did was weigh packages and ask for money. And so, Keith, often had debates inside his own head what this universe held for him. He would have stamp after stamp of recurring thoughts of stupid questions that will never be answered. Well, wont be answered in his, now very short, lifetime.
It was the end of the working week for Keith and as he walked, not being able to afford a car and was too stubborn for public transport, home he did something he had never done before, think about the universe after he had finished work. He was on a road he had walked many times before, but this time it was slightly different. He looked at plants and wondered why the Earth was here. Trying very hard to stop thinking such rubbish up, he eventually got home. In his confusion he pored a glass of whiskey.
Keith couldn't help but wonder about the complexities of the universe over his glass of whiskey. Every time he tried to get these recurring thoughts off his mind he drank some more whiskey. But every time he drank some more, his head flooded with irrelevant answers to questions he had never asked. After his second full glass of whiskey his head was swaying way too much to handle. He could feel his stomach crunch. To avoid being sick all over his nice carpet he ran outside. He promptly threw up the stinging pain of whiskey in his next door neighbours vegetable garden.
After the painful regurgitation of black looking bile, Keith looked up at the sky and wondered, what the fuck was God thinking? How can the sky at night look so wonderful and yet everyone on earth be ugly bastards. Maybe it was Mother nature that helped germinate the Earth into a giant trash can? Well obviously Mother nature had to be a guy. A woman could have no such cruelty in them for this to happen. No, women are cruel, they just wish they weren't. Where as with a man, they are tossers but they know what they are doing... sort of. But that creates the inevitably that men could create everything. Which is sort of right, in the wrongest sense possible. Mother nature has slowly humped the Earth, into existence, to plant the seed of life. At he end of the day, Mother nature didn't need the Earth but, the Earth needed it. So this leads to the only conclusion that life is a massive cosmic joke.
At this point Keith's body spontaneously combust, ending all confusion.
THE END
